National Superhero Day: 10 Singular Superpowers I Would Love To Have

On April 28, 1995, Marvel Comics created National Superhero Day, a day when everyone celebrates their favorite superhero! For me, it was Captain America in the early 70s.

When the second generation of the mutant X-Men entered the scene in 1975, the attention of many was immediately drawn to Logan aka Wolverine, who, because a fan favorite, often rivaling that of Spiderman and DC comics’ Batman. Sometime in the early 80s, Wolverine also became mine with his adamantium claws and skeleton, healing ability and berserker rage.

Each year, at my job (a work-from-home position), I ask my project members what their favorite superpower is. I’ve even gone so far as to ask them for “silly answers only”. One of the most entertaining answers was “the ability to know what my kids are doing, even when the room gets quiet”.

So let’s talk about that today. Not only my desired superpower, but my favorite(s). And if your superpower is the power of prediction, then you should know that my next words are: Let’s get to it, shall we?

National Superhero Day: 10 Singular Superpowers I Would Love To Have

1. Super Strength – Easiest on the list. Everyone wants to be like Superman, but on this list, we have to choose one power, so we can’t mix in his ability to fly or laser vision. So even though we might say, “Hulk Smash,” we’re not impervious to bullets and everything else. But every now and then, it’s nice to be able to move furniture effortlessly and, if nothing else, be able to unscrew the 2-liter bottle top that my wife has tightened with her own powers.

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2. Luck – You read that right. Luck. Back in 1982, Marvel Comics introduced us to the superheroine Shamrock, who possessed the power of immense success probability within 20 feet of her goal. That would be cool, but I’m talking more than 20 feet, where I could avoid collisions and slips, trips, and falls. I’m talking good ol’ fashioned luck. I’m talking Lotto numbers! If nothing else, be the 1,000,000th customer at a Best Buy or some superstore like that.

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3. Mind Reading – I mean, who WOULDN’T want to be able to read other people’s minds? Especially when you’re sitting in the high school cafeteria and a group of girls is sitting there, staring at you. You don’t know if they’re collectively checking you out or if they’re wondering why you don’t know that you’ve got a cheesy macaroni noodle on top of your head.

I’m willing to guess that it’s the latter. But hey, it would definitely come in handy during a job interview to help you assess the situation and decide what to say and do next.

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4. Power of Persuasion – This one is better than the ability to read minds. Let’s PROGRAM minds. Something like Obi-Wan Kenobi using The Force to tell you that ‘these aren’t the droids you’re looking for’. Allison Hargreeves of The Umbrella Academy had it even better. All she had to say (or whisper) was, “I heard a rumor…” and tell you what she wants you to believe.

Dude, could have a man living head over heels in love with her for YEARS because she TOLD him. I mean, with this power, FORGET reading your mind during an interview. I’m going to tell you to tell ME I’ve got the job!

And I’m gonna get an extra patty put on my burger without paying for it. Maybe even get the entire burger for free…

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5. Seeing the Future – Now this comes in handy and is even better than the power of enhanced probability for luck. Now I KNOW the lottery numbers, what place the horses finish the race in, and best of all, the winners of the NCAA Basketball Tournament! I could finally be the one with the perfect bracket! Imagine the parlay payout on THAT bet. I would also know who the guy is who is waiting to pop me over the head with a baseball bat when I’m trying to leave the race track with my money.

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6. Time Travel – Once again, something to beat out the preceding power. Seeing the future is cool, but imagine being able to go back in time to any point. Yes, I know the whole Space-Time Continuum thing and how we can’t tamper with the past, lest we change the future. But if I’m to be honest, I wouldn’t go back and buy stock in Google and Amazon. I would honestly go back and meet my paternal grandfather. I’d love to have a chat with him about my father’s youth, along with all of the people before their era.

And yeah, I might go back and try to hook up with Lena Horne, Pam Grier and Wonder Woman’s Lynda Carter. If only I could add that persuasion power to this one.  Hmmm.

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7. The Power to Absorb Knowledge – In the movie, Meteor Man, Jefferson Reed can (among other things) grab any piece of literature and instantly know 100% of its content for a total of 60 seconds.

Imagine being able to grab a book and having it instantly upload into your mind like they do in The Matrix, but permanently. The problems you could solve. All of the languages you’d learn. All the baby cribs you could assemble without going back and forth to that manual that has better instructions in Japanese.

But wait! Now you actually SPEAK Japanese! “Banzai!!!”

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8. Teleportation – Now this one is special. Travel from one point to the next in the blink of an eye. Forget plane reservations and ticket prices.
Wanna go to Ghana? Poof!
The inside of a bank vault? Poof!
Get to any store before closing? Poof!
That girl who said, “If only you were here right now, we could-”

POOF!!!!!!!

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9. Super Speed – I’m sure you’re wondering why one would choose super speed if you could teleport anywhere you wanted. Especially since super speed won’t take you across seas and oceans (well, Dash ran on water in The Incredibles). For one, if you wanted to do something undetected, teleporting would get you there, but you still have to commit the act. You’re going to get caught on camera. Sometimes you need to move so fast that the world around you just seems to be standing still. Just know that you’re going to need many more pairs of tennis shoes and plenty of extra deodorant.

Is it me, or am I not the Super Hero type? A lot of my intentions seem to be in sync with the characteristics of a Super VILLAIN.

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Finally, back where I started:

10. Wolverine’s Mutant Healing Ability – The thing that makes him so powerful is not his adamantium skeleton and claws, but his ability to heal, almost immediately. Not that I drink, but he can drink to his heart’s content and never get drunk because alcohol is absorbed and dealt with in record time. He is also virtually disease-free. Can’t catch a cold or flu. No cancer, no high blood pressure, no sexually transmitted diseases (which is worthless if you can’t read the girl’s mind and can’t get there in the blink of an eye or go back to the past to keep her from meeting that other guy…). Gotta rely on your own skills, dude.

What I love most about that power is that he ages extremely slowly. He was born somewhere in the 1880s, and look how good he looks after over 140 years! I’m in my 50s and looking like the Crypt Keeper if I haven’t had a good night’s sleep.

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And that’s it. My 10 most desired Super Powers. It’s easy to imagine what life is like with any one of these. Well, my buddy Steve has told me that I have three, so I guess I should be grateful that I do have SOME. He’s even given me superhero names for each.

1. The Justifier – I have the power to rationalize why I need to buy things my wife says we can’t afford to buy. Especially since she’s the one paying for them.

2. The Persuader – He laughs because I have a weird way of convincing strangers and casual acquaintances to follow my suggestions (WITHOUT saying “I heard a rumor”).

3. The Muli-tasker – He has yet to call me and ask me what I’m doing without me saying, “Working on this book, while reading this chapter on creative writing, cleaning my camera lens, watching Game of Thrones in the background, all while filling my pill diary (Hey, I don’t have that healing factor, thus I need my high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol meds because I’m overweight and can’t run long or super fast enough to burn off the calories associated with all the extra patties I had put on those burgers without paying).

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What’s your desired superpower? Share your thoughts in the section below because I can’t read your mind. And be sure to sign up at the bottom for email notifications of future posts from Kenny’s Camera, Cooking & Crazy Confessions at ZootsBlogSpot!