Heart Takers & Heartbreakers: Why I Remember Them. Why I Talk About Them.

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

That’s the question I read in my WordPress daily feed: “What experiences in life helped you grow the most?” Funny they should ask that because I’m currently talking about it. Or at least, I have been in the past three posts.

Last month was Valentine’s month. I know, I know. We only celebrate the 14th. But when you’re blogging and posting articles revolving around the theme of love, you can’t help but take advantage of the entire 28, excuse me, 29 days in the month. Can’t forget that this is leap year.

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As much as I love music and its influence on my life, when it comes to my emotional and spiritual growth, my experiences with love (and anything short of it) win the day.

Some might argue that being a husband/wife and raising a family are the easy choice, but when I think about it, it’s my love for my family that pushes me to be a better person. As a result, I am. But let me finish my point about romance, or oftentimes the lack thereof.

Going back to my first crush, which was actually in kindergarten (that far back, yes), I’ve always strived to be different than other people. Most often to impress that person of whom I took interest. I didn’t necessarily change who I was, I just took a hard look at what existed and who or what I was presenting. In most cases, I decided to improve on the prototype.

From the low-level interests (in the form of basic attraction) to the likes, the puppy loves, courtships, rejections, screw ups, one-night stands, betrayals, commitments, embarrassments, almost-engagements, pregnancy scares to finally, marriage, I’ve been through it all. And I remember them all, seriously.

I’m fortunate that the great majority were wonderful experiences. Some, extremely comical. Some very dangerous.

Then there were some that, sadly, were heart-wrenching. So much so that I no longer wanted to live because the pain was so intense and seemingly unending.

For the record, nobody is worth ending your own life over. Ever. But I understand the feeling.

In the end, looking back on it all, every experience was a love and life lesson. And thanks to each entertaining, emotional and erotic episode, I got a little wiser. A little older. A little tougher. A little better.

My wife? She knows almost all of my stories. In the beginning, we shared them to show each other what we’d been through to help set a basis and understanding for our relationship. As time passed, she simply asked because she knew I had some funny ones to share, unable to keep them secret, thanks to my/our college friends and later, social media posts. That has even passed down to my sons and their friends, who love hearing the wild ones. Most of which, she or my siblings brought up.

I thought about putting them all in a book and maybe, someday I will. In the meantime, it’s good fuel for my blogs, which many of you have read from my multiple series: Valetine’s month, Music Notes, Disastrous Dates, Church Tales and a few songs from my collection that I’ve written over the years and chose to share.

And no, I don’t name names. Those (and some situations and locations) are changed “to protect the not-so-innocent”, as I always say…

So, if you’ve ever wondered if my sharing of my past might be disrespectful to my wife or my marriage, dismiss it. She feels that they should be told, no different than any famous figure sharing his or her own life story. She knows I’m not reminiscing about who I once liked/loved and what might have been. She agrees that what I went through led me to be the man I am for her today.

Besides, she said none of them would want my crusty, dusty, musty, old butt today, anyway!

That’s why, when I tell my tales, I give you everything: how I approached the situation and more important, how I felt during that time and after, which is critical to the lesson I learned. Besides, it’s foolish to live in denial of what an experience meant to you. If I can quote the great Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

In my case, I remember how they made me feel AND what they did to get me there, good or bad.

So now that we’re here, what next? Someone commented in my most recent blog (Now Hiring: Woman With A Heart) that they’re eager to read the story about how my wife and I became the permanent experience. Well, I’ve been talking about our life together all along, spread out throughout the 367 blogs I’ve posted to date. Yup, we’re deep into the 300s. Now what I share in the future about us, she will have some say about because, after all, some things should be kept private. I’m sure you all can respect that. Not that you have a choice.

In the meantime, just sit back and enjoy. I have dozens of short and lengthy encounters that I remember well and am eager to pass on. If nothing else, just enjoy the tale. Besides, it’s probably best that I write them all down now, before memory loss sets in.

Heart takers and heart breakers. I remember them all.

And that is why I talk about them.

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