Church Tales: Be Careful What You Wish For. You Never Know Who’s Listening…

“Be careful what you wish for!”

You know, I had never given that phrase too much thought, despite the fact that I had heard it dozens of times over the years. Probably because I couldn’t understand any situation that would cause you to regret that which you so desired.

Of course, that doesn’t include the repercussions of requests made to Azazel, the eponymous demon of the book of short stories by Isaac Asimov. He was a pocket-sized imp who granted one their wishes, but not without consequences. However, in his defense, the backfires were never intended. He just misunderstood the reasons why people made those wishes.

Like the woman who wanted Azazel to create for her, the perfect man. In her description of him, she included that he should be soft, as in kind and caring. Well, he made her ideal man, with unequivocal features, muscular stature, intelligence, emotions, even his “blessing” (you’re grown – figure that out), the whole nine. Of course, when the time came for the two of them to make love, she learned that the man was, and would always be, as she requested: SOFT.

I love that book. Anyway…

My story is a great example that things don’t always go as planned. Here’s what I mean…

Florida A&M University, Tallahassee, Florida, October 1985

During one of my talks with Anthony, my bible study mentor (yes, I actually went to church), I asked him if he truly believed in the power of prayer. I wasn’t challenging him, but I felt it necessary to repeat the age-old question about God answering fervent prayers, along with other miracles.

“And please don’t tell me that the Lord moves in mysterious ways!” I added.

It was not my intention to be exigent with my questioning, but I was your typical male campus freshman, eager to enjoy the earthly delights of college life.

I was a thousand miles from home, in a place where nobody knew anything about the old (or young) me who grew up in East Chicago. Here, I was free to be anyone or anything I wanted to be (unless I got caught in a lie).

I could do what I wanted to do, free from parental interference. Yet here I was, studying the bible with someone who, in my opinion, was seeking to throw a monkey wrench in all of my impious party plans.

Visibly unshaken, Anthony looked me squarely in the eyes and said, “You know, everyone tries to find ways to poke holes in the Gospel. The real challenge is in accepting the truth. If you really want to know if prayer works, try it. Do it. But don’t ask for anything ridiculous. Ask for something you realistically need. Be sincere in your request and give your heart over to Him.”

That ruled out asking or a million dollars or for the Cubs to win the World Series. At least back then. The latter finally happened. That took a LOT of prayers from generations of fans.

When I asked for an example, he told me that I didn’t need one. That I should think hard on what was important to me and why.

It took the better part of a week for me to think of something to present in prayer. Not that I was saving up my one and only wish to ask a genie. I knew that with God, there was no limit. The key here was asking for something measurable. Something I could identify as a true indicator of His power. Something I probably would not or could not do on my own.

Now don’t get me wrong. Despite all of the things I wanted to experience away from home, deep down, I wanted to be a better person. I just believed that I had all the time in the world for that.

Like I said, these were the college years, so I wanted to have a wonderfully wild time for 4+ years, right on through my twenties. I would eventually settle down somewhere in my early thirties once I was far enough along in my career. Then I would get into a serious relationship, get married, have children and yes, dedicate my life to Christ. Shallow, careless planning, but true.

I didn’t think it fair that I join somebody’s church and seemingly miss out on all the adventures I had been so eager to experience.

In my mind, real church folk didn’t have fun. So why should I rush? My Sundays should be saved for sleeping in, hanging out and waking up in the girls’ dorms and maybe, just maybe, getting in some homework and studying.

But I just had to know. Praying for God to look after my family, keep everyone in good health and help me pass the upcoming Finite Mathematics exam was too easy. Besides, when and if these things happened, I would wonder if it was indeed divine intervention or just plain coincidence.

Like I said, I wanted the results to be noticeable. Quantifiable. It was time to go for gold.

It was a simple prayer and a simpler request. But it was the strongest one I’d ever made.

“Heavenly Father. I ask that you remove all the things in my life that are keeping me from doing Your will and developing a better relationship with you. Remove the barriers so that I can be closer to You without distraction. In Jesus’ name I pray…

…amen.”

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That weekend, I traveled with the marching band to perform at an out-of-town football game.

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My roommate and I were both in the band, but he always left our dorm room for the band building later than I did. The problem was, he often forgot to lock the door. I had told him about it before, but alas, he did it again.

When we got back, I knew something was wrong before the door had opened a full inch.

Someone had been in our room.

My unlocked footlocker had been raided. So had my drawers. Among my missing items were my cologne, my condoms, my binoculars and all of my adult magazines.

Nope. That couldn’t be God at work. Dorm theft occurs all the time.

So, what was actually left behind?

Sitting on my bed, though I know for a fact I had put it in my bottom drawer, was my bible. It had been tossed there as the thief or thieves had their way.

Once it landed, it had opened to the book of Matthew, where I could easily see one of the passages I had highlighted long ago for quick reference:

Matthew 6:6: “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

That Wednesday evening, I sat right next to Anthony in church for bible class.
Friday night for devotion.
Sunday morning and evening for worship service.
Even every bible study…

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