Make It Make Sense -aka- Hey, You Asked (A Memory For Teacher Appreciation Week)

It was a simple assignment. One of the easiest ones we’d ever received in English class:

Write a one-page short story about anything. Anything at all.

Who couldn’t do that?

The kicker here was that it was a two-part grade, split 50-50. The first part of the grade was for the content of the story; a combination of conventions, opening, body, closing and fluency. All the things you’d expect to be graded for in 6th grade English.

The second part of the grade was the maker or breaker:

Create an appropriate, matching title.

Yes, a title. 50% of your grade. Personally, I thought the score point distribution was idiotic, but that was me.

The task was to create a title that draws interest and ideally matches the story in introduction, body and conclusion. Not as easy as it sounds, is it? But honestly, if you put your mind to it, it’s not difficult at all.

I think what made it difficult for many was crafting a title and then trying to construct a story to match. If you ask me, it’s better if you put the proverbial cart before the horse, which I did.

Now for the record, I did just that. I sat and worked out the theme of the story and the conclusion. Then I tied in the introduction and worked diligently on the transition from one part to the next. Then I thought up the perfect title, for which I was sure I would get a perfect score. Each part.

But this wasn’t arrogance, this was knowing how the teacher graded and my track record with him.  I was sure I would have gotten that “A”, had I handed it in.

But if you know me well enough by now, you know I have my ways.

I didn’t turn in that paper.

Instead, I put it in my folder and quickly wrote a different essay.  One where the title matched the content perfectly.

My final grade: 50/100.  “F”

Even though it turned my final grade from an A to a B, my father never would have known or questioned it.  He would have fussed at me for not getting an A in a class that was supposedly right up my alley.

But he DID find out. Because my paper made its way through the Teacher’s Lounge, to the front office and somehow, to my home.

What was the story called and how did I get an A for the title and an F for content?  You tell me:

“The Blank Sheet Of Paper”

by Kenny A. Davis

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And by the way, my father didn’t find it funny at all.

The Governor did not call in time. The prisoner was pronounced dead in the Davis house at 3:56 p.m.

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