Retail Re-Tales: Pick A Bag.  Any Bag…

You know, I’m beginning to wonder if I have “stupid” written all over my face or people are just that foul.

Let me go back a bit…

A few weeks ago, NFL Sunday Game Day.  The divisional round of the NFL playoffs.  You know everybody is making that awesome tailgate food for lounging around their viewing rooms.  Add the fact that the snow returned with the promise of “snow emergency” levels and you’ve got a mad scramble at the grocery stores.

So I ended up at Aldi, the discount grocery store.  It was my intention to get some red potatoes and lettuce, but since I had grabbed a shopping cart, well, you know…

My photography appointment texted to cancel that afternoon’s session, so I had even more time available than I thought. 

Translation: more shopping.

Before I knew it, I had a good $80 worth of groceries in the cart.  But since it had to happen sooner or later, there was no better time than the present.  Besides, with it being game day weekend, I had a reason to buy whatever wings, cheddar brats, stewed beef and other meat products were still available. 

I made my way to the checkout line, but not before letting a few customers with a much lesser amount in their cart or baskets go ahead of me.

I was through the line in no time and off to the loading station to bag my groceries.  If you don’t know anything about Aldi, they allow you to bring your own bags or purchase theirs.  In addition, you bag your own groceries.  This and the use of off-brand suppliers are some of the reasons the costs are lower than your average grocery stores.

So there we were, about 6 shoppers, lined up along the 40-ish foot long bagging table, offloading our carts for bagging, only to return them and wheel them out into the parking lot.  I was close to finished, having bagged my meat, fruits & vegetables, dairy, canned goods, breads & desserts and finally, my miscellaneous items.

By this point, my back was bothering me and I was growing frustrated by the discomfort, hunger and eagerness to get home to the bathroom.  Being alone, I couldn’t abadon my cart and I definitely wasn’t going to walk to the parking lot, load the car and walk back in.

While loading one of the bags, I saw in my peripheral view, a multi-colored bag in the cart next to mine.  It didn’t take a super-sleuth to figure out what had just happened.

“Uhhh, EXCUUUUUSE me!” I bellowed loud enough for everyone to hear.  You KNOW that bag doesn’t belong to you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman replied, looking over her cart, then locking eyes with her male companion, who had that jig is up look all over his face.  “I thought it was…”

“Ma’am,” I answered, obviously angered.  “You have nothing but paper bags.  I bought the Aldi store bags.”  (They were immediately recognizable because they had that big ass Aldi label all over them.)

For the record, there’s always that chance that she could have purchased ONE “Aldi” bag, but I’m sorry. No. I ain’t buyin’ it and I know you ain’t either, folks. Besides, I could see my chicken legs sticking out of that all-meat bag. Even if she claimed it WAS hers, a quick comparison of receipts would have put a stop to that nonsense.

Another thing. I’m not one to make a scene in public because I think it ranges anywhere from juvenile to unprofessional to straight-up ghetto / trailer park. But trying to steal my groceries in “broad daylight”, that deserves attention. And it got it.

Everyone in the area was looking at her and giggling, having heard what I said and seeing what was obviously an attempted “snatch and ditch”. I guess the look on my face helped to describe the situation as well.

She quickly took three (yes, three – that’s how far over she was) steps over and put the bag in my cart before pivoting and scurrying towards the automatic doors. People in the background laughed even harder as someone moaned, “that a daaaaaayum shame!”

Her male companion followed closely behind, not looking back once or saying a word.

Which is probably a good thing.

I will never strike a woman.

But that doesn’t mean I won’t beat the you-know-what out of your man.

Don’t touch my cheddar brats…

This has been, yet another Retail Re-Tale.

Like what you read? Have something to share, like a similar experience? Feel free to leave it in the comments section below. And be sure to sign up at the bottom to receive email notification of future posts from Kenny’s Camera, Cooking & Crazy Confessions at ZootsBlogSpot!