Welcome back to another episode of “Good Pranks Gone Wrong”, tales from my crazy days growing up, in high school, college, work and just about everywhere else. As I promised in Episode 1: “The Abduction”, I will be sharing jokes, fun stories, practical jokes and as you can see, pranks gone horribly wrong. If you missed the first story, be sure to check it out, but only after you finish this one.
So let’s get to it, shall we?
In this episode, I’d like to talk about a college prank that would have been one for the record books, had it gone off without a hitch. I call it, “A Night At The Movies”.
If you knew me in college, you know that I am an incredible movie buff. I mean, I LOVE movies. Of course, being a broke college student, you’d find me, more often than not, hanging out in the theater on “$2 Night”, trying to impress a date with money I got from selling plasma, hours before.
Of course, being 6′ and 169 lbs with a 26″ waist, transferring life-saving body fluids never really worked well for me, come date night.
I loved movie theater pranks. One of my favorites was putting on a horizontally striped shirt, my black tweed fedora and Freddy Kreuger claws. You know what came next. Me and my friends, sneaking up on people from behind during the showings of “Nightmare On Elm Street 3”.
…and “4”… …and “5”…
Man, those screams were classic. It was too dark to see if they pee’d on themselves. But we weren’t gonna stick around for their dates to respond.
Then there was the loud sex we used to have in the back of the theater. It was always a female friend in old woman’s make-up and dress, sitting on top of the male as she bounced around, arms flailing about for people to shockingly discover. Of course, his pants were on, but no one stopped to check, especially while trying to figure out why he was screaming, “Mrs. Williams!!” One time, he screamed, “Oh Grandma!” and I almost choked laughing, one row down (we always sat surrounding the “performers” to make sure no one got close). The gasps were priceless. Crass humor, yes, but to a bunch of teenagers, these were the greatest times.
Hey, before you freak out, remember, most of you watch “Jackass: The Movie”. We weren’t any different.
Anyway, it was a simple enough plan. While the audience was still piling in to their seats, a “fight” would break out between two of us in the front of the theater. From that point, their respective friends would jump in, creating a skirmish involving about 15 people, armed with collapsible knives and fake blood. The melee would spread out along the front rows and back along the aisles, putting on one incredible gladiator show. By the time theater management was alerted and the cops were called, we’d be well out of the exit doors. Hell, we could even run out of the theater and into others to watch the movies of our choice (assuming we had another showing in mind, prior to the event).
The plan was set, the arguing began and before you knew it, we were swinging, kicking, stomping, slinging and rolling in front of about 100 screaming movie attendees with hands over their mouths. Some, making their way towards the exits. Everything went according to plan and it was beauuuuutiful.
What we HADN’T planned on was the call made to the police department BEFORE our public disturbance. You see, a fight of some sort had ALREADY occurred in the theater lobby or parking lot, so the police were ALREADY THERE! Even worse, the situation had long since been quelled, leaving all attending officers available to rush OUR show.
What happened next, you ask?
Let’s just say that of the 15+ of us involved, only 8 of us made it out of the exit doors.
The pranksters that were tussling on the floor, well, they were the easiest to snatch up.
I should know.
I was on the bottom as a one of my accomplices straddled me, throwing fake punches.
You know what happened next.
So how does this story end?
You mean you haven’t figured it out by now?
Let’s just say the judge doesn’t give out Community Service to just the “bad check” writers…
…this has been, “Good Pranks Gone Wrong”.
Like what you read? Leave a comment, share it with others and be sure to sign up for my email list at the bottom. You don’t wanna miss my next episode, “Chillin’ In The Corn”, coming next week, along with more crazy posts. Remember, April Fool’s month is all about the laughs!