I Got’cho Chiiiiiiicken…

You gotta love society. I swear, there are some truly nasty attitudes out there. Makes you wonder if people are raised this way (lead by example, you parents out there) or they become embittered as the years go by. Then again, considering the current administration, we can probably add the “spread hate” campaign to the list. I’ll let you decide who or what we consider to be the ignition source for that.

Anyway, this is how the story goes…

Columbus, OH – July, 2020

I sat in the Popeye’s drive-through line, enjoying my Babyface music mix (I may post that mix sometime) when I heard this ear-piercing voice, through my closed window! The music wasn’t loud at all, but I should NOT have been able to hear someone placing an order. So what did I do? Yeah, I rolled down the window and killed the music. What I heard was a pleasant employee’s speaker voice, then the nasty customer’s voice, then the pleasant employee, then the nasty customer.

Although I missed the majority of the exchanges, it was clear that this woman had a lengthy , complicated order and wasn’t making it easy for the girl on the headset. Still, the girl maintained the highest in courtesy and professionalism. God bless her. We need more women like her.

I looked at her side view mirror and her gaze caught mine. It wasn’t a nice one.

The conversation continued…

Popeyes Employee (extremely pleasant voice and disposition): “Will there be anything else?”

Nasty Woman (voice not too different from Evilene in “The Wiz”): “Did I ASK for anything else?”

“No ma’am. I was checking to see what else you needed.”

“I MIGHT be finished!”

Pause

“So does that complete your order, ma’am?”

“I GUESS SO!!! Rushin’ me. I gotta get home ANYWAY. I got GROCERIES in this car! And my ice cream!”

You stopped in a long drive-through line, on a hot summer day, AFTER shopping for groceries with temperature-sensitive items…

“Please pull around for your total.”

Pause

“WAITAMINUTE!” screamed Evilene.

Pause

“Welcome to Popeyes, how may I help you today?”

Right then I burst into loud hilarious laughter (window was still open) because I knew damn well that the overly-patient order taker knew the woman’s car hadn’t moved. That’s when the woman looked back at me through her side view mirror.

“I wasn’t finished with my damn order!”

“Oh! I’m sorry. Would you like to add to your order?”

“I guess NOT,” she spat in disgust as she sped around the curve, unable to hear the order taker kindly asking her to please pull around for her total.

Still laughing, I shook my head in astonishment at the customer’s attitude and display as I pulled up to the order station.

“Helloooo! Welcome to Popeye’s!” she began energetically as if the previous exchange had never occurred. “What can I prepare for you today?”

“Ma’am’, before I begin, I’d just like to say how impressed I am with how you handled that woman before me. I promise you, I intend to treat you differently because I’m glad to have someone as delightful as you taking my order.”

“And I’m glad to have YOU here!” she quickly replied.

My order was a small, easy one. 20 seconds, tops between the two of us. Then we shared a quick joke as she told me to pull around like the woman before me.

As I eased around, I noticed that the woman’s car was not in line. I figured that she’d sped off in her anger, losing patience, time AND her order.

By the time I pulled up to the window the lady inside gave that knowing glance, indicating that she had realize what I’d already surmised: That ignorant heifer before me was gone!

After complimenting her again, I promised to call the corporate office and give a praising review in addition to the online survey. She could tell that I meant it too.

“All that time, fussing and hollering to place an order that she’s not even gonna get,” I laughed.

“Yeah, she’s gonna miss out on all of this good food.”

“Well, I hate to see good food go to waste, since you have to throw it away,” I said, knowing your average restaurant doesn’t allow their employees to put food back in the bins. Sometimes they do, but they’re not supposed to. “I think you should just give it to ME because I love y’all!”

“I think I SHOULD, baby!” she replied as she winked, handing me two bags of food (One had two boxes in it). Her co-workers smiled in agreement, laughing.

“DAYUM!” I remarked surprisingly as I set the items down in the passengers seat.

“You have a good day, shugah!” she concluded as I gleamed at her, then my food, then back at her, then my food again.

I pulled away slow, laughing at the memory of my youngest son always accusing me of conning women at drive-through windows. Each time I answered that I never tricked or cheated anyone; my requests were always sincere and polite. If anything, I am guilty of being exceedingly kind, to men as WELL as women.

I reached into one of the bags and pulled out a leg (one of the many pieces), biting off a nice, juicy chunk of meat. As I drove off I thought about angry Evilene, the nice employee, her co-workers and how tasty that crunchy chicken leg was. Then I thought about Eddie Murphy’s “Delirious” stand-up concert movie when he sang, “I got some iiiiiiice cream. I got some iiiiiiice cream.”

I went right into my own song…

“I got’cho chiiiicken. I got’cho chiiiiicken…”

As I drove (and sang with food in my mouth), my mind returned to the irate and undoubtedly hungry woman. I could see her cursing to herself with a car full of groceries including melting ice cream and unsecured eggs on a road full of potholes.

Wherever she is, I wish her hell well…

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